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Swing Clubs

I get many questions about Swing Clubs. I'm going to take the time to describe a typical evening at a typical Swing Club, from the standpoint of someone attending a club for the first time. The club is called Bill's Playground (A fictional name). Let's assume this couple, Jeff and Sandy, doesn't know anyone else that swings. This is a subject they searched out on their own. This hypothetical situation should help you to prepare mentally, should you decide to attend a club. Attending swing clubs is something that I strongly encourage. In my opinion, there is more fun to be had at a Swing Club, than anywhere else on the Planet Earth. As for other places in the Universe, I can't say, but I suspect my statement would hold there too!

As you read this story, my comments will be in burgundy italics, just like this. I will be telling this story, in what may seem like unnecessary detail. This is intentional. There is a tendency in these initial stages of swinging to be very nervous. The more things that happen that you already know will happen, the less nervous you will be. If you expect an event, it seems more familiar and more comfortable, than if it catches you by surprise.

The Phone Interview - Most, if not all clubs will insist on a phone interview before you attend one of their parties. This is because they want to make sure you are legitimate. In other words do you conform to their rules? Some clubs insist on couples only. All clubs want to make sure you are not an investigator or a reporter for news media. This can become a fine line because there certainly are many police officers that swing.
In a typical, scenario the guy, Jeff, would call the club to arrange to attend a party. Jeff is a little nervous.

Jeff and Sandy have talked about swinging for a long time. It's something Jeff has wanted, but he only started talking to Sandy about swinging a few months ago.

Jeff calls the club. A man answers. He is polite but prefers that the caller speak first. He is understandably cautious, even after several years of club ownership. Jeff says, "Is this Bill's Playground?" Bill, the owner of the club says, "Yes". Jeff says that he would like to attend a party this coming Saturday night. (It is currently Monday.) Bill asks if Jeff is a single or a couple? Jeff says that he is one half of a couple, the other half being Sandy.

Bill asks if he might speak with Sandy. He does this so he can confirm that they truly are a couple. Bill knows from experience that a great number of callers are actually single guys, trying to scam their way in. If Jeff says that Sandy is unavailable, the conversation would politely end there. The lesson is only to call when both of you are available. Bill, the owner, would ask that Jeff call back when Sandy is available. Jeff asks Bill to hold on while he gets Sandy.

Sandy come to the phone and greets Bill. She is considerably more nervous than Jeff. All that Bill wants to know is if Sandy is Jeff's partner and if she understands the purpose of the phone call. Bill asks Sandy if all this is ok with her. She agrees to everything. Jeff gets back on the phone.

Bill explains to Jeff that everything is fine. He further explains that he and Sandy will need to attend an orientation together before the party. The next orientation is the coming Thursday, at a local restaurant, at 8:30 PM. Jeff says that he and Sandy will be there.

The next few days are rather exciting for Jeff and Sandy. They are both anxious, but are excited as well. They feel as if they are embarking on an adventure. It's true. They are probably embarking on one of the most exciting adventures of their lives. Jeff and Sandy already have a rather active sex life, but the thoughts of attending a Swing Club, add even more excitement to their sexual activities.

Thursday arrives. Sandy is nervous about what to wear. Jeff tells her it really doesn't matter. He's right. It doesn't matter at all what they wear. They are not going to be judged. They are going to the orientation to learn. This is to help assure that they are comfortable at the club, and have a good time.

The time arrives, and Jeff and Sandy begin the drive. Now they are both nervous. They wonder, will people having sex at the orientation? No. I suppose anything is possible, but I've never heard of it. I've even had people ask if they have to have sex with the owners at the orientation. Absolutely not. Put it out of your mind! They have a little squabble during the drive. Nothing major. Not unusual. Although what you are embarking on, it can cause a little stress on the couple and individuals, in the early stages.

Jeff and Sandy arrive at the restaurant fifteen minutes early, order a drink at the bar, and start looking around. They start playing a little game. They are trying to figure out who else at the bar is there for the same reason that they are. They talk about what the people will look like and whether they will look weird. They won't look weird at all, although they may seem a little nervous. It's fun and the time passes quickly. A man comes up to Jeff and Sandy. He introduces himself as Bill, the owner of Bill's Playground. Bill looks like any other human. Jeff and Sandy are both are relieved. They go with Bill to the most private table available.

There are two other couples at the orientation. Everyone except Bill is fairly quiet. Bill goes over the rules of swinging. Representative rules are included in this book. He also reviews the rules of the club itself. Typical rules include:

* Don't show up without a reservation
* No food or drink in the party rooms
* Club specific smoking rules
* No fighting
* Club specific hours and latest arrival time
* No unescorted single males in party rooms
* Don't give out the club location
* No fighting
* Arrive and leave as a couple
* Again "No means No"
* Don't disturb people behind closed doors

All the rules of swinging and all the house rules are based upon common sense, comfort, safety and security.

Bill also explains that many of the parties have themes. The theme for this Saturday night is Hawaiian. Dressing to theme is optional.
Bill also has a discussion of jealousy and how to deal with it, as well as the importance of open communication. He then explains that it is essential that couples have a discussion regarding each other's limitations and expectations. They need to do this before the party. Jeff and Sandy refer to this as "The Big Discussion".

Jeff and Sandy have a great ride home. They are both relieved at the sense of normalcy that they felt at the orientation. They are both also very excited. They discuss whether they will dress to theme. They decide not to this first night. Instead, they decide to dress as if they were going out to dinner at a decent restaurant and a movie. This is very appropriate. Dress for a nice night out and you won't go wrong. The party is just two days away.

Saturday arrives. The jitters return. They also realize they have not yet had the "Big Discussion". Here is what they agree upon. Of course your rules will be different from Jeff and Sandy's, but it is essential that you have this talk and set up guidelines. Also it is absolutely mandatory that they adhere to the guidelines they establish. Otherwise, I promise you that the evening will end in disaster!

Here again are the rules they agreed upon:

* They will stay together the entire evening.

* Neither will expect the other to do anything.

* They will discuss any proposals from other couples privately among themselves.

* A decision to do anything will require a "yes" from each of them.

* A "no" from one of them means a "no" from both.

Before they know it, the night arrives. They stop at a liquor store on the way, because Bill's Playground is BYOB.

They arrive at the club, show the required picture ID, and fill out a brief application. They both sign it.

Then they are taken on a tour of the facility. They are shown the food area, the bar and dance areas, the pool, hot tub and the upstairs. The upstairs consists of a half a dozen party rooms. Actually, facilities very greatly but many do have the above amenities. The tour guide explains which rooms are private, which ones are for group sex, etc. All rooms are equipped with beds, pillows, clean sheets, condoms, and washcloths. Everything is clean. Our guide also explains that all the bathrooms are equipped with mouthwash and feminine products.

After the tour, Jeff and Sandy, sit down at a table to talk and enjoy a drink, while they "people watch". Sandy comments that everything they saw, on the tour, except the upstairs, looks like what you would see at any other party; an extremely well organized party. They sit and talk with each other for about 45 minutes. As they talk, the party gets more and more crowded. The people watching is outstanding!

Then, as the night gets later, people start to relax. It's obvious that everyone is in a great mood and ready to have a terrific time. Some of the ladies have taken their tops and bras off. Not every women participates in this. Most do not and are very comfortable. This is key. There is no pressure for anyone to do anything. It is truly an amazing site.

Later comes the "ladies only dance". This is a common occurrence in the swinging lifestyle. All the women start dancing with other. Some that are not naked already undress each other.

The night continues. More people get naked. Many couples disappear for a while; going upstairs to play. Jeff and Sandy decide they will go upstairs to see what is going on. Since the only area where observing is permitted is the orgy room, that is where they go. Even though they know what to expect, it is still a little startling for them to actually witness group sex for the first time. Sure they had seen videos, but this was real and in person!

As they looked in the room they could see about twenty people on four beds. It seemed as if they were writhing in ecstasy. It was like a wave of human flesh moving in unison. It was surprising how few of the people were wearing condoms. Some people feel safer with other couple because they are monogamous outside of the lifestyle. They feel that the people are safe because it's a closed circle of couples. Personally I disagree with this concept. I always play it safe and suggest that you do too.

When Jeff and Sandy got over the initial shock they realized that they were both quite aroused. They hugged and kissed, in the doorway, just a few feet from an activity they didn't even know existed a few months ago.

They decided to leave though, because they weren't ready to participate in a group scene. This is wise. Group scenes often involve very small barriers to anyone joining in. It may seem a good idea at the time. Later though, you will likely learn that one or both of you was actually quite uncomfortable. As they walked out of the room, a couple that they had spotted earlier, downstairs, greets them. Their names were Tim and Mary. Mary asked Sandy, if the two of them wanted to find a room. Jeff and sandy looked at each other to see each other's reaction. They both gave each other a "why not", kind of a nod.

As the foursome proceeded to a room, Jeff told Tim, that they were brand new to this, and did not know how "far" they would feel comfortable going. Tim explained that he and Mary had only been to a few parties and that they should only do what feels comfortable. Tim also explained that he and Mary have a "no penetration" rule. Jeff was very relieved and relayed Tim's comments to Sandy.

The details of what happened sexually among the new friends are not important to this book. The group spent a couple hours together enjoying each other. Everyone adhered to their predetermined limits and had a good time. They exchanged phone numbers and e-mails. The rest of the party went well for Jeff and Sandy. They thoroughly enjoyed themselves. They decided that they would come back to the club again and even contact Tim and Mary.

The Jeff and Sandy Story is typical of what a couple new to the lifestyle could expect. Hopefully their story will help you have a similar successful experience.

Here are a few miscellaneous comments that should help you in the Swing Club Environment.
I have heard it said that there are numerous cliques at Swing Clubs. I will agree that it may appear that way. It is common to see groups of people talking to each other. It seems that things are private among them all. Actually nothing could be further from the truth. The assumption that the groups of people want privacy is an attempt at mind reading. We all know that mind reading is impossible. What is most likely going on is simply what you see; a group of people talking to each other. Ask yourself if you look any differently than they do. People go to a club to meet other people. Not just people they already know.
So how can you use this new information? Take action. If you see people you want to talk to, simply walk up to them and say, "hi". It's just that simple. You will find that this is easier at a Swing Club, than any other social situation. Just try it. It's even easier than you think, because you shouldn't be at a loss for words. This is because the "lines" that are worn out in the regular life, are just fine in the swinging world. Lines like "have you been here before?", "Where are you from?", and "Are you new to this?", will work just fine.